Thank you Allah for everything

I know I promised you to add pictures of my new house but I didn't have the time to took it from the camera, I just took them two days ago, I'll put them, believe me, as soon as possible. My dear readers you have to excuse me for this delay, believe me I was, I mean my family were passing through a hard time, it just came with the time of my wedding so I delayed it for no further notice! yes, maybe this week or I don't know when. Today we were supposed to celebrate the Hinna night (A day before the wedding day).
It was all about my father, suddenly he felt hard pain in his back and leg, he was not able to walk or even to sit on a chair, this happened about two weeks ago, we thought that he only needs a rest and to sleep on his back as much as possible but the situation was getting worse. I couldn't see my father suffering from this killing pain, the doctors said he needs to do some medical tests and x-ray, they found he has Slipped disc so he needs to have a surgery! what? a surgery? this was the hardest part for me, for all of us, because I know that my father is not that young and he has diabetes and blood pressure, that's why I was afraid, but the doctors told us that everything will be ok, and they will do the surgery by using (Telescope), I'm not sure if this is the right word, the most important thing that he will have a very small open cut which very good for his diabetes.
The surgery took place yesterday, my father is in a good condition now, he spent the night in the hospital with my mother, uncle and other relatives and friends.
He called me early in the morning to wake me up, we used to wake up at the same time and have breakfast together, I missed having breakfast with him, I missed to see him walking or even coming to pick me up from work. Thanks God he is good now, he needs to spend two nights at the hospital for more checking.
So that's why I couldn't post any pics :)

It is almost finished!

From where do I have to start? ok I will start from about week ago, I know I was very late to informe you about the great news that I have, but believe me if you were in my place, you would have no time to sit on the computer, despite that I work for eight hours per day in front of it, and I could't speak or even to think in a right way.
I'm happy to say that I found a house, I'm so happy, so as my future husband, we are very busy these days, we start to furnish the house and every thing is just amazing. It is a very cute house with a kitchen, two rooms, bathroom, balcony and good corridor. I liked the house, but it was in a bad condition, that's why we needed about a week just to fix the walls and to clean it. We painted the walls with different colors, it looks like a new house now. I went yesterday with my parents and sister to do the cleaning thing, my Lion King was busy since early in the morning in buying the furnitures, washing machine, refrigerator, cooking stove, television, generator, and today a huge sand storm hit us, what? you just can't imgine how bad it ist, I'm watching Baghdad from the fifth floor now, it is completely Café au lait.
We have to clean the house again oh my God.
The count down started, only few days for the big day of my life, I have to buy all the things I need, the wedding dress, the white shoes, oh my God I have a long list to do all the requirments. I don't know when I will take the vacation, and I would be so happy to share some photos with you as soon as possible.
With all those things, I still have the last date with the dentist today, then I have to find a day for make over, I will change my hair color, and prepare my self for every thing.
I have mixed feeling, I can't describe the way I feel, I feel hungry all the time, and I know it is not the right to feel this way as I'm not planning to gain any weight.
I think that's it for the moment, it was a hard day day at work, I can't concentrate anymore, but I promise you that I will be back soon with photos.
take care

unforgettable days

I remember after the war, people returned to their homes, my friends as well, we met in S's house, each one of us had a story to speak about. It was a hard time, there were no electricity at all, and sometimes no water, so we were storing water to use it in the dry day.

The shopes and markets start to reopen, but with a small number of goods, we thanked Allah for there are farms in the neighborhood, the farmers were selling the vegetable they have.

We were seeing light only during the day, and we were spending our night in a complete darkness, the lande line stopped, there were still no internet and cell phones yet. We were using only the radio to know the news, we were listening to Sawa radio and informations, the station of the alliance forces, They were speaking Arabic in a really funny way remindes me of the Arabic translation of the Russian cartoons. They were giving instructions to Iraqis to cooperate with the "Friendly" US troops and they are here to help us and to free us from the previous regime! like it was really true.

I remember I was busy to do something at home when my uncle came to us saying the US troops are at al-Ferdous squre trying to collapse Saddam's statue, I didn't heared what he was saying exactly, but I was happy as I felt that there will be no more bombings.

I was only afraid of being seriously injured because of a bomb by the US troops, and I live for the rest of my life paralyzed or suffering the lose of my family, I prayed to God all the time, I don't want to suffer, if this is my time to die, let me die, better for me to live and lose my family. I couldn't believe the US collapses Saddam's statue, no one believed it, it was like a shock. Then another stage started, which is the theft, Iraqis, and unknown groups, some say from Kuwait, other said Iranian, start to enter Saddam's palaces and take every thing they can, they opened the huge doors of the palace, Oday's palace as well and let all the animals escape but I don't know what happened to Oday's lion.

The thieves destroyed all the governmental associations, destroyed the streets, the Fine Art center and steal almost all the rare paintings painted by famous Iraqi artists, they steal the National museum, they destroyed the heritages, they were like hungry animals.

Later, they stopped as there is nothing left to be destroyed. Iraqi are patient, after all this distructions, they continue their life, the stores reopened, the schools as well, we were preparing for our final exams, few months later, we had our exams and prepared our selves for the college life.

The bombing started, the killing for money, they were kidnapping girls, children and men, one day I was going on my way to college with the driver, he speaks alot and has all the news of the neighborhood and the areas around it, he told me about the story of the bakery owner in the near neighborhood saying that "He is a rich man, a very good man, they kidnapped his son of about 12 years old, they asked the family to pay a ransom of about 70 thousand dollars, they tried to reduce the number and prepared 50 thousand dollars to pay, the father went to one of the srteets in Baghdad to hand over the money and take his son, as he had been told by the kidnappers, they called him and asked him to put the money on the corner of the street and will receive his son from the other side of the same street. he did what they asked him to do, put the money and went to the other side but in vain, he waited and tryed to call the kidnappers but their cell phone was switched off, he waited there, but he received a phone call from his brother saying they found a black bag on the door contains the chopped body of his son!!!!.

When my grandparent back to their house, they had many stories to tell us when they came to visit. My grand mother was very sad about a girl in their neigborhood, she told me she was a very beautiful younglady, with a long black hair, big eyes, good shpaed body, she is a very good girl from a respected family, when she walk in the street, all the men look at her and wish to speak with her, they were waiting in the street just to see her beauty. But during the bombings that targeted the civilian houses by the US troops, mortar bombs fall down on their house, it was destroyed and burned, the girl was seriously injured and lost members of her family as well, she lost her lef eye, part of her nose and she became paralyzed, she was not able to walk or move normaly, this all the information I have about her, as my grandparents moved from their neighborhood for the security reasons, my grandmother has no news about the girl and the family.
My friend N. (The one I talked about in one of my previous post that lives now in the US), she got married when she was in the second year of college, her sunni husband were subjected to threat while he was visiting his shia father in low's house in Karada, then he decided to go to Lebanon to save his life untill N. finish her study and follow him, but N. suffered a lot during nthe two years she spend away from her husband, her brother in low and his grandfather got killed in clashes between US troops and armed group while they were going to their house in Ameriyah, then she lost 11 member of her familly in a bomb targeted the building where they live, the bomb collapsed all the building. many people killed because of the attack, her sister killed by a bomb in Karada, then she finally went to her husband and both of then moved the US.
and I still remember that day, I was on the highway going to college, when the cars suddenly stopped, we heard fire, I saw children running out of their school buses, as their school was on the side of the highway, they were scared and crying, then I saw a woman crying and shouting and another car just moved rapidly. I was still inside the car praying no one to be injured or killed, the cars then moved and I saw the woman still crying out side a balck car, but the driver was drowned in his blood, they killed him, my be he was her husband or brother or son, I could't see if he was a young or old man. I hated that day of college, I can't forget that day ever.

Bad memories about war

I realy don't like to call it the War of Freedom like other call it, it was a war against Iraqis, against Saddam and now we are paying the price of The American government's big mistake.
I remember the first days of the war, it was about 05:00 to 06:00 am, 20 March 2003, we were sleeping in peace but there was fear inside our heart to here the sounds of bombs any time, as they announced the Zero Hour, which means the time to start the war.
We heard the sounds, we went down stairs and listened carefully, we hugged each other and prayed to God to protect everyone. I was scared to death, my heart was beating very fast, then my father's friend called and they must go to their duty, I didn't want my father to leave, but this is his job and his duty towards the country, he went and we didn't heard any thing about him for several days.
I remember my aunt (Allah yrhamha) the sister of my father, which lives in the south of Iraq, was calling us everyday to check upon us. My grandparents was asking us to go their house untill the situation to be calm, my aunt (the sister of my mother) was asking us the same thing and they were living in Aadhamiyah at that time. during the Gulf War in 1991, all my aunt's (My Mother's sisters, their husbands and kids, we were kids at that time) went all there, we spend the hard days of war togther, but in the war of 2003, my mother refused to leave the house, she said "I will not leave it for I'm waiting for my husband to come in any time, we should wait for him in his house". We refused. Thanks be to Allah that we didn't leave our house, because all of them came to us, and we spent the war days together in our home, because the situation in their neighborhoods was getting worse.
we were about 11 members, my father was still in his duty and my grandfather was in his house, he didn't leave his house to protect it and all the men in their area were there, but he was trying to come to our house, he couldn't because the streets were closed, all the Iraqi tanks were damaged, he was walking all the streets just trying to reach us, all the streets were filled with chopped and burned bodies, he was alone for along time, we couldn't call him, he spent the days alone in the dark nights hearing the bombings every little hour, untill the roads re-opened, he came but he was in a bad situation, he lost weight, and he was depressed for seeing the bloody scenes in the streets, this caused him the Zehimar and died three years later.
After several days, and when the military operation by the US troops decreased, my father came back, Then we heard that the US troops entered Baghdad.
When US troops occupied Baghdad, there were no electricity, no water from time to time, no food, we were making bread at home, I was dreaming to eat a banana or at least a small dish of fresh salad.
We lived in bad situation, we start to hear the Iraqis are being killed for money, cars, revenge, as well as sectarian reasons. The killing is continuing till now. Iraqis were displaced for being Sunni, Shiite, Christian or Kurds, men were killed for doing their hear in a stylish way, women were killed for speaking on the mobile in the street, as it is Haram, (Forbidden) by the Islamists.
During college, my christian friend was living in al-Dora, one of al-Qaeda srtongholds, she was forced to wear Hijab.
She tells me someday, a man came to her house, spoke with her mother "You should make your two girsl wear Hijab, or you will be forced to pay 50 dollar every day for us, and we'll take your girls and marry them!".
They wore Hijab, then they moved to another house in another area later. Me too, I was putting scarf all the way from home to college, for security reasons.
I remeber one day during Ramadan in 2003, which several month after the war, we were invited to have the Iftar in my aunt's house in Adhamiya, then we went back home, on the way, we found a US tank in front of us, the soldier on the top of it was directing the mashine gun of the tank to us, it was a deadly moments, you can't imagine what happened to us, we were scared to death, we prayed that we would not feel pain if we die but later he just waved his hand to us telling move!.
I have more to tell, I heard many things worth to be shared here, but I don't want my post to be very long. Maybe I will speak about it later, maybe not. All I can say that be safe and live in peace.

The same old issue

We were searching for a house more than six month ago, and we are still waiting to find even a small but clean one. I mean by WE, my family, my family in law, my father and his friends, my mother and some neighboors, my finace and all his friends, my friends and their families, and there is nothing to live in.
We found several houses, very samll and expensive, very big and very very expensive, but the last one we found, is the disaster it self.
My friend N. called me two days ago, she was so happy telling me that her father's friend found a hous for rent in the same neighborhood where I live now, a house in the second floor of a nother house, but it will be separated by a stairs, which will be added later, and we will share the same garage!
we spok with the friend of N.'s father, and we met him yesterday, my father, my fiance and me, I was happy, I dreamed all the previous night about the house, I was telling my self that this is it, we found what we need, a house of two rooms, one bathroom and a kitchen. And you can't imagin how deep was my dreams, especially it was not expensive they asked for about 300 dollars per month.
We went yesterday to check the house, I found a small corridor and three doors, one for the bathroom, and the two others are for two rooms, then another door for the roof, I wandered where is the toilet and kitchen? then I was shocked, the kitchen is outside the house, it is in the roof, you can't imagine it, I felt I was living in a egyptian old movie where a poor family living on the roof.
I was sad and very disappointed, but I tried so hard to hid my feelings, because my fiance always tells me that not to build dreams on a fragile thing, or on something you have no idea about. He was right. But I can tell you that all my dreams faded away with that kitchen!.
There is a houses crisis in the country, the problem is, despite the improved security situation, but we still can't live anywhere, there are some areas far away from our parent's houses, and from work, we can't live in some areas that we are not used to, as some neighborhoods seem familiar but other areas seem so strange.
my grandmother always asks me the same old question, you found a house? what will you do?.. no body knows how much this question bothers me! yes it bothers me deadly.
I can do nothing, or WE can't do anything, yes we want to get married, but in the same time we want to do it the way we want, the time we want, we will wait untill we find a nice place for us.. this is my business, it is not others business..

just another day

Ok, finaly I found something to talk about!
I wake up at 06:00 am, had my breakfast and got ready for going to work, my Lionking came to pick me up later, but we discovered that the streets are empty, very samll number of cars, and this is realy strange especially we still in the middle of the week! what's going on, he said maybe we went out earlier than every day. but when we reached the main street that leads to my work, O-Oh, it was blocked, we tried to go from another way, it was blocked as well.
the problem is that I don't care if I arrive at 07:00 0r 09:00 but what I care for is that my Lionking should reach his work before 08:00 am .
We trid but in vain. We both live in two different neighborhoods in Rasafa side, our works are in al-Karkh, it is like going to Basra or Mosul not the other side of Baghdad. So we returned back to the first point, which is Rasafa, then we passed through Adhamiyah and reached his work.
We decided to go to his work is better than returning back home because it is closer to my work and it will not take to much time to go.
we face this kind of closing road almost one day per week, we need one hour or sometimes more to go to work, this is ridiculous, can you imagin we are losing two three hours of our day everyday just to go and return from work, aaah, I think we need a small helicopter is better than a car that got stuck in the traffic every ten minits.
going with my fiance to his work is a nice thing, it is like sharing every little thing with your partner, I met his golleagues, the majority were girls, hummmm! but they were nice and the type of girls who talk a lot and like to gossip!
but I had fun, I find his personality in the office and with other people, I saw him working and taking his place in that corner where takes control of every thing, we talked, laughed had hot nescafee made by one of the girls their, I liked to be their. but everthing has an end, I had to call the office and tell them about the closed roads, but they said the roads are opened now and everything is ok.
So, I said goodbye to the girls hopping to meet them again, and my Lionking drove me back to the office.
the reason of closing the roads is the visit of the Iranian former president Rafsenjani, (is that even a name?) to Baghdad, I do not know why he is visiting Iraq now, and why the government is happy with this visit, and why they close the roads for him? ok I know I don't like to speak about politics so I will stop.
From another part, I was thinking about asking you a question. I read in one of the newspapers several weeks ago, a cute article about TV channels and people, the main idea of the article is "what would you do if all the satellite and local channels will stop for one month, and there will be no TV at all? and why?", can you answer my question? as I want to write a report about that for my own, thank you in advance.

Happy Valentine's day

If I had to live my life with you near me

the days would all be empty

the nights would seem so long

with you I see forever oh, so clearly

I might have been in love before

but it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young and we both no

they'll take us where we want to go

hold me now, touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

you oughta know by now how much I love you

one thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

nothing's gonna change my love for you

you ought to know by now how much I love you

the world may change my whole life through but nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road a head is not so easy

our love will lead the way for us, like a guiding star

I'll be there for you if you should need me

you don't have to change a thing

I love just the way you are

so come with me and share the view

I'll help you see forever too

old me now, touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Some times we feel that a love song and the way it makes you feel, is a better way to express your self and the love you have for a special person in your life, not because you do not know how to show your feeling, or because you have no words to say, but because there is no way to describe how realy you love, how much you care, and long to live the most beautiful love story in all the world.

I found that song, the best one to show him my love, to tell him that I love every day, every moment and every memory that we shared. I wanted a friend and I found him, I wanted to be loved and he gave me the most wonderful feeling, I wanted to dream, I wanted to laugh. He gave me all his time, he gave me his heart, he said that wounderful words many time, he promised me to be by my side for ever, for better or worse, till death do us apart.

I promise you I will care for you, I will love you, I will keep you in my heart for ever, I will cherish every little thing we do. We will laugh, we will cry, we will lean on each others shoulders, we will grow old together, we will made our dreams come true, we will fight for our happiness, we will create the best time ever for us.

I learnt from you that the happiness does not come to us, but we create it. I learnt from you that love is a great, very great and deep friendship between two souls. For you my love, I dedicate this song, these words and feelings.

Happy valentines' day