Friday, January 23, 2009

I'm not a singer, but I sang

It was like a movie passing infront of my eyes, it took me to that chair where I was sitting facing my two professors, monsieur Jaafar and miss Lubna, during the oral exams of the second year of college!

I was really forgeting this day, but my dad reminded me of it. My father was driving me to the office and we were listinning to some french, western, Iraqi songs, then Dalida's song "je suis malade" just started. My father asked me "is it the same song that you sang infront of your professors during your oral exam? ". I was like what song and what oral exams you are talking about dady?. He said "Don't tell me you don't remember that day!".

In fact, I was realy forgeting that day, it was winter, I was waiting in the corridor of the French language departement with all my friends and colleague, untill the professors ask as one by one to enter the class, where the oral exam of comprehension was taking place.

I waited until my turn came, I was not afraid, I sat on the chair with big smile and blinked eyes, the miss Luban asked me to read a small story was in the book, and asked me several questions about it. Then Monsieur Jaafar, and because he knows me very well and know how I liked the frech songs, he asked me about my plans during the mid year holiday, I told him I have plans to meet my friends, to read and translate some Frecn songs, then he asked me what kind of songs and for whom? give me names and titles!! I was like, wow, this is my chance to speak more and more French with my nice professor, which I realy realy respect. Then I gave him several names of French singers and songs, one of them was Dalida's song.

Then he said I want you to sing it for me, it is included in the exam!, ok I knew that he was kidding about that, but I was realy shy to sing, even my voice is not that suitable to sing with it. But I said "What will I lose If I sing? I will do it", then I started..

Je ne rêve plus
Je ne fume plus
Je n'ai même plus d'histoire
Je suis seul sans toi
Je suis laid sans toi
Je suis comme un orphelin
dans un dortoir
Je n'ai plus envie
De vivre ma vie
Ma vie cesse quand tu pars
Je n'ai plus de vie
Et même mon lit
Se transforme en quai de gare quand tu t'en vas
Je suis malade
Complètement malade
Comme quand ma mère sortait le soir
Et qu'elle me laissait seul avec mon désespoir
Je suis malade
Parfaitement malade
T'arrives on ne sait jamais quand
Tu repars on ne sait jamais où
Et ça va faire bientôt deux ans
Que tu t'en fous

It was like WOW, what I have done, OMG, I was realy excited. how come I forgot that day? I wish I live one more time, over and over again, there are many happy days I lived with my friends at college, I miss them alot.
we were five girls, one of us went to Syria before finishing college, two of us married and living abroad, one of them realy far away and she mightbe a mother now, as she was in her last days of her nine months pregnancy, and another one got a job in Baghdad, and me...
nice memories from the best days of my life..

Friday, January 16, 2009

It is the year of changes

Is it only me or the mojrity of the girls acting like that? no no I can confirm that this is not a good thing, especially for a young girl like me who will get married within this year and will be incharge of a house, I can't decid what is good for me, I can't decid what is fits on me or I just can't say yes yes I want that and I take it as soon as my eyes fall on it.
Is it really that hard to choose the outfits that I should choose without having my mother with me or asking about her opinion?
I adore my mother, and I trust her and trust in her opinion about every little thing, she is not only a mother for me she's my ideal, my star and I want to be just like her in everything, she's strong, self confident, pretty and very elegant !! and this is what I'm talking about.
Since my childhood I depended on my mother in buying clothes, or everything actually, even my make up, and she buys me anything even without my presence. when my friends ask me about what I'm wearing, or from where I bought my makeup I said "Mama brought it to me, I don't know from where exactly", this is a bad sign!
So, I decided, and because I promised that 2009 will be the year of changes I start my way taking the first steps which are dying my hair in to aubergine color, and actully this was my decision with taking my fiance's opinion and the other step is to buy new clothes, I must do it.
Maybe for others, or you my readers it is not a big deal, but I thing it is important for me to decide, it will change me, I will start to realy realy depend on my self in every thing.

I spent three hours in writing this post, I hated everyone in the office today, they asked me alot and they were taking my attention all the time.. now I have only 20 minutes to leave...I'm also waiting your comments..
untill then, be safe, enjoy what you're doing, smille, take a rest and be ready for the next coming day.