Friday, June 27, 2008

Really really Bad Mood

I'm feeling bored, I feel that I'm not doing anything, I'm not having a time to do a thing for my self, I'm really missing to be at home for a long time with my familly while I'm seeing them every day, but at the same time I feel I miss them a lot, I don't have the time to sit down and talk with my mother like before, I'm not doing what I used to do before, I used to be a lone for hours writing my diarys, listen to music, watch TV till late hours of night, get to the interenet and chat with my sister and friends for hours, and U'm realy missing my sister, painting, cleaning the house, arranging my room, help my mother in cooking, meet my friends every week or call them from time to time, even talking to my fiance for late hours..
I'm not finding the time to be as I used to be, I feel like there is something has changed in me, and this is really hurts me so bad, I'm not sure if my familly realy feels like there is something changed in me, but I do feel it.
I'm not taking care of my self, I'm not eating well, I'm not sleeping in a good way, sometimes I sleep well and for more than 8 hours a day, and sometimes less than 8 hours.
I'm not able to arrange my time because I already don't have any!
the weather is hot, it is realy hot. The work time is realy long long time, which is really something bothering me!!! desperately!!...
I know that many people want to be in my place, because I found a job while most of my friends and people I know are still searching, but the problem is I'm bored of everything.
I don't want to live in gloominess, I know I should be happy and satisfied no matter what, because I have the reasonable causes for that but I'm not helping my self, even my father when he sees me smiling and talking about what happened at work and how was my day he says "I really want to see you like this everyday you come from work".
I know I should be happy because I have a lot of good events happened in my life, I graduated, I got engaged to the man I love, I found a good work, My familly and fiance are ok, my sister is happy with her achievements, so what else I need? what else I don't have? what do I want? I don't want to be like this, I don't want to be ungrateful to everything that God gave me..
maybe it is just a phaze that I'm going throuhg, I know I can get all these thoughs out of my mind, sooner or later..


Marshmallow26 said...

Dear Micho el 7abbaba,

I have been in this situation many times before, you feel that every thing is perfect, you are saturated with every thing BUT fed up with this way of living in chorus.
What you are feeling with now usually happens especially when it is hot, you feel that you are forced to go to work (ungrateful) for having this grace, you feel that you don't wanna share talk, jokes with anyone, and because your time at work is long, it worns you out once you get home you feel that الدنيا طالعة من عينج

Be cool, take some days off but don't stay asleep in bed, go out with your parents or fiance to some restaurants that you haven't been to before, come and visit me ;) I will be waiting to host you all صدكيني
Make a list of the things that you want to buy for your wedding and pay a visit to the markets with mom to do this job...
another suggestion, why don't you get a new haircut or a new hair color?

I don't wanna sound rude but you need to do something different which will get you back to the mood :)

With love,


jisoo said...

مرحبا ميشو
احساس متعب من شخص ميعرف ليش ضايج بس اني من رأيي حاولي تأملين نفسج بأمور معينه لأن الامل ينعش الشعور بالحياة ولا تيأسين واني متأكد انتي اقوى من الضروف الي تمرين بيها وراح تتعديها .. لتخليني ايأس من الحياةلأن اني اشوف بيج روح الاصرار والمثابره والتحدي لكل الضروف الي يمر بيهاالعراق وبدون مجامله اشوفج قدوه لبنات هالجيل . اخوج جيسو

David said...

Hi Micho, I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Since you are really missing the things you used to do, I am going to guess that you are not enjoying your job. What do you do at your job? Is there anything that could help you enjoy the job more?

You said your work time is really long. How many hours do you work each day? I remember a job that I really hated. I only worked eight hours, but the time seemed to go by so slowly I thought the day would never end!

It could be that the heat is making it difficult for you to sleep well. Is your room really hot at night? When I was a young teen, I went to boy scout camp in the middle of the summer. It was really really hot! We slept on cots in tents. I don't think I ever got a good nights sleep at that camp. I did have some fun there, but I never got enough sleep.

Well, I hope you are able to feel more optimistic soon. Perhaps when Morbido comes home you will be happier. :)

Michomeme said...

Ya Marsho ya 7abbaba,
You are right Marsho, it is all because of this hot summer, and the heavy jam that I face everyday, can you believe it took me one houre and a half to arrive to work today!! in this summer, and I have to mention that the aircondition of my driver's car doesn't work!!! I ask him to fix it up, but he said that it costs much...I thought about the money that I give him each month!! when, where and on what he spend it!!

I'm already having a new look, but I'm waiting the hot summer to end so that I will change my hair color :)
I realy liked this suggestion Marsho, I will make a list of the thing I want to do, not for the wedding only, but for every thing I want to do.
وشكرا عالدعوة الحلوة مارشو، اكيد اذا بيوم صارت فرصة النا ان نلتقي، راح يسعدني هذا الشي..

Michomeme said...

مرحبا اخوية جيسو، المسألة مو ضوجة من شي غير معروف، بس مرات الحياة تشغلنا وية ظروفها، انت تشوف كلشي تمام وماشي مثل ما تريده بس مثلا، تعدي عليك ساعة وحدة تكون انت متضايق منها فتحاول ان تعبر عن رأيك بأي شكل من الاشكال، الحر هو اكبر مشكلة بالوقت الحالي...وشكرا على الزيارة الحلوة..

Michomeme said...

Hi David, you know what, I'm happy with my work, but it is a long time work, but it fact, this must be normal because all people around the world works with this system, which is 8 hours a day, and one day off.

And I really have good people at work, they are good, and respect me.So the only problem is the long time. I have to get used to it, because this is my new life.All this because whem I'm at home I really have many things to do, since I was a childe I was busy with many things, so it is my life, but now I'm busy with my work and also I want to visit my friends, my fiance's familly, I want to stay at home with my parents, I want to have a me time, I want to sleep, I want to go out, I want to cook, I want to do many things but I can't do them in one day, I have to make a list of everything I want to do as Marsho said, then maybe I will be able to do at least one thing from this list in every week..this will be better.

It is realy hot in here David you can't imagin room is hot, I have aircondition but the electricity comes for few hours a day, and it doesn't work on the generator...
Thank you for you sweet visit and words David, and be sure that I will be happy when I will see Morbido again.

Sandybelle said...

Hi dear khala,
Ok ok, i have already had such problem, but i soon got a bath and felt ok. hahaha, really.
the weather is horrible, i know, i even have bath twice a day!! really. it is unbearable. ok, it is summer, the season that i dislike very very much.
But let me tell you khala, i love you ,and i love you to be and to do everything may make you happy, and i'm very proud of you and sure that you will feel better very soon.
Kisses from me,
Actually, these days, i am very stressed of school and studying, do you know what? i got used to study in the room without switching on the fan!!!! yes , i got used to it. it is important.
Pray for me, and let me hear great news.

Rain_Drops said...

cheer up Micho ; there's so much to do in this world ; just look around !

Morbid Smile said...

Well you better be happy when I get back!! :D
I'm sure you feel this way now because of the weather, it happens every summer but we just forget it. When I came here and started studying I felt that I was missing out on many things and didn't have time to do anything besides reading and writing papers, but then I got used to it and now I don't know how to do other things even though I have the time for them!
But as soon as you get used to your job and the heat goes down a little everything will be fine! :)

Anonymous said...

hey could you change the black color of the blog home, it is annoying

Anonymous said...

i have thought about your post over and over since i read it days ago and thought of posting then ..tonight i lay in bed and still thought of your post and how many times i have been right there as you describe.. here is my assessment . take it or leave it.

there is something within that is not right w/your personal life and you know what it is. you must first find the courage within yourself to identify it. my concept of an evolved person is associated w/how long.. how much time elapses between thought and action/resolution. in other words, it is all up to you. social and cultural changes can occur in a society within days or centuries. imagine a reality w/no boundaries. imagine you are the princess in'the 'princess and the pea'. what is the pea my dear? sometimes the smallest things can completely disrupt our lives. women thru out the ages have been the instigation of change within the culture. don't be afraid. embrace who you are and run w/it. sometimes it is best to talk w/your family, sometimes it is best to talk w/someone who has no emotional investment w/the outcome of your progression. usually i find talking w/someone helps. but the most important person to talk to is yourself. remember, it is you who controls your destiny. miracles happen if you believe in them. never underestimate the power of your dreams.

most of all rememebr'this too shall pass'. you are living in difficult times and everything you are going thru is completely natural. it is very brave of you to share your inner disturbances w/us. thankk you. and be brave.


Michomeme said...

Sandy belle, thank you for your nice words, I know it is just a case, and it is gone, I'm ok now..thank you for every think

Thank you for you visit and your words.

Be sure that I will be so very happy when I see you again, I always think about you, you are away, and taking a big resposibility just by your self, and you did it, you just did what you want in the good way, which makes me stronger than I am. I'm proud of you sister. I'm realy proud of you.

I like my blog's color.

Thank you for your visit, you're right in every thing you've said. it is just a period of time, and it is gone..all we need is to think how to be happy ..