عدنا من جديد

ما ادري ليش عاجبني اكتب بالعربي اليوم، طبعا مثل كل مرة ابدي اكتب اكول ادري جنت غايبة فترة طويلة بس اليوم رجعت و الغياب سببه الوقت، بس هالمرة مجان الوكت جانت الصور، من فترة طويلة وعدت اجيب صور بس وكت ماعندي افتح اللابتوب و اختار الصور خاصة اني بشغلي دا اقضي وقت طويل امام الكومبيوتر يعني من اوصل للبيت يكون عندي اشباع من الانترنيت و الكومبيوتر و كلشي يخصه.

الحمدلله الجو هاي الفترة كلش حلو، و ما بقى بس يوم على شهر اكتوبر، شهر اعياد الميلاد، لان عيد ميلادي و زوجي، و خالتي و بت خالتي و خالي و صديقاتي كلهم اعياد ميلادهم بهذا الشهر، لهذا احب اكتوبر. الاجواء تذكرني بفترة الكلية، كلما تهب نسمة هوا باردة اغمض عيوني و يجي شعري على وجهي و اسمع اصوات طلاب و هوسة السنتر مال كلية و اني شايلة النساكفيه، افتح عيني الكي نفسي بنص المكتب و كدام الكومبيوتر و الموظفين كلمن غركان بالكومبيوتر الي كدامه، و كوب الهوت جوكليت الي كدامي يطلع دخان ما يخليني اصبر حتى ما اشربه كله و نسمة الهوا اجتني من الشباك المفتوح كدامي.

رمضان الفات جان شي مختلف، حاولت ابتكر و اتعلم طبخات جديدة طبعا، بما انو اني ما طابخة هواية فتقريبا كلشي جان جديد علية، تمن برياني، تمن احمر مرة يصير عجين مرة يصير عجين لحد ما صار تمن احمر، تبسي دجاج بعدة انواع، معكرونة و لازانيا و عدة انواع من تبسيات البتيتة باللحم او الدجاج، حاولت اخذ كم وصفة من الانترنيت و اطبقها و الحمدلله جانت تنجح عندي حتى جيز كيك سويت، تكدرون تلاحظون من خلال الصورة تاريخ اللقطة، قديم، يحتاجلي ابديت شوية :).

و للي يحب يجربها انطيكم المقادير و طريقة العمل بشكل بسيطة و السريع.

الطبقة الاولى عبارة عن بسكت، اي نوع بسكت حلو مو مالح، لو حتى مابي حلى هواية و حسب الكمية الي تريديها، اني سويت باكيتين بسكت حجم وسط طحنتهم و ضفت عليهم اصبع زبدة سايح، شوية شكر، شوية حليب حتى يتماسك لان اذ اخلي زبد هواية تصير دسمة اكثر من اللازم. تخلطيها و ترصيها بالبايركس و تخليها بالفريزر.

الطبقة الثانية عبارة عن، علبة دريم ويب، او اي كريمة خفق، تعمليها حسب طريقة العمل المكتوبة على العلبة، علبة قشطة اولكر او كي دي دي لان قوامها كريمي، اربع قطع جبن كيري او اكثر، تخفقين الكريمة بعدها تضيفين القشة، تستمرين بالخفق، بعدها الجبن، الى ان يتجانس، الخلط يكون باليد او الخفاقة الكهربائية، بعدها يضاف على الطبقة الاولى و ترجع للفريزر.
الطبقة الثالثة اما تكون قطع فواكه مثل الموز، فراولة، كيوي او اناناس، او مربى اي نوع، او جيلي، الجلي تسويه حسب طريقة العمل الموجودة على العلبة، تنتظري يبرد شوية، نجيب الطبق و نضيف الجلي ببطء شديد بالخاشوكة (ملعقة) على الطبقة الثانية، لان حرارة الجلي ممكن تكسر الطبقة الثانية و يتغلغل الجلي بداخلها و احنة ما نريد هيجي شي يصير فببطء افضل، بعدها بالثلاجة الى ان يبرد، و اكلوها و الف عافية، اني هنا خليت مربى عنجاص، بيبي سوتها جان طعما و لونها كلش مناسب.

A bloody day

I was not planning to be absent for all the time ago and come with a post like this, but I couldn't stop my self from writing what I feel. Today was one of the blodiest days in 2009, many people were killed, about 75 persons, more than 300 wounded, who many of them will stay alife?
Baghdad was hitted by six attacks, ID's, bombings, car bombs, it is just a nother crazy day. I was very afraid, this is the first time I feel that I'm alone, and no body here to protect me, I was at work when the explosion took place, the dust were everywhere, I couldn't see well, then I took my mobile and went to the corridor to be away from the windows, it took me back to the war days in 2003. I hope the martyr will rest in peace, many innocent people killed today, I wish they terrorism will be punshied and chopped just like what they did for Iraqis today.

Here comes the Bride

Well well, I really really don't know from where should I start, I know I was absent for a long time, I was busy all those days with the wedding and the new house, thank you Allah for everything, the Henna night was amazing, the wedding was wonderful, I enjoyed every single moment of it.

My wedding holliday started from the 30 of June, I had only two days before the Henna and wedding days, so I couldn't even sleep well as I was very tired of cleaning my new house, you can't imagin how bad it was with all the sand storms that we had. The other day I went with my mother to the beauty Salon to change my hair color and have a new look, then to Palastine street to do some shopping for the new bride, I enjoyed it, especially if you knew that I was covering my nose and mouth with a mask to prevent the sand from entering my mouth! it was a horrible sand storm.

Many relatives came to us, the house was realy full. We prepared for the Henna, I invited my friends, neighbors and others, we fixed the list of the music, the food, sweets, I was happy, hesitated, nervous, I felt that I was a different person, it was a nice feeling, but there was another sad part, I couldn't prevent my self from thinking that this is the last day for me in this house, my parents house, the place that protected me from cold, rain, heat, from everything, the house where I spend the most wonderful days in my life, the house where I grew up, where I learnt how to be strong, educated and a nice person with a big heart, the place where I cried, and laughed in a crazy way, the house where I found love, respect and privacy, I know I will miss all those things and I will never find them in other places, this is my parents house, the place that will always be ready to receive me any time.

The henna day was very nice, we danced, sang, laughed and had fun, my husband and his familly came to us to put the Henna on our hands, we took pictures and spend time together then then went back home.

on the Third of July, I woke up early, I prepared my self, had shower, sat with the family, I had mixed feeling, I wished I was only a kid at that moment, it was very difficult moment to see my father's eyes full of tears telling me "you look so beautifull in this white dress, I still have this trembling feeling each time I see the pictures or even to remember my family's faces. When my husband came with his family and friends to take me.. I could't help it, I cried.

The Zafa was just cool, they sang in a very nice and funny way, I laugh each time I see the video tape.

We had a very nice Honey moon, we spend the most days of it at our new house, we liked it so much, then we went to Kurdistan for five days, we had fun their, we visited Zakho and Duhok, it was one of my best trips. We visited the summer resorts their, water falls, other places.

I don't have internet at home yet, I got back to work and I didn't have the time to take and work on all the picture that I want to post so wait for me :)

Thank you Allah for everything

I know I promised you to add pictures of my new house but I didn't have the time to took it from the camera, I just took them two days ago, I'll put them, believe me, as soon as possible. My dear readers you have to excuse me for this delay, believe me I was, I mean my family were passing through a hard time, it just came with the time of my wedding so I delayed it for no further notice! yes, maybe this week or I don't know when. Today we were supposed to celebrate the Hinna night (A day before the wedding day).
It was all about my father, suddenly he felt hard pain in his back and leg, he was not able to walk or even to sit on a chair, this happened about two weeks ago, we thought that he only needs a rest and to sleep on his back as much as possible but the situation was getting worse. I couldn't see my father suffering from this killing pain, the doctors said he needs to do some medical tests and x-ray, they found he has Slipped disc so he needs to have a surgery! what? a surgery? this was the hardest part for me, for all of us, because I know that my father is not that young and he has diabetes and blood pressure, that's why I was afraid, but the doctors told us that everything will be ok, and they will do the surgery by using (Telescope), I'm not sure if this is the right word, the most important thing that he will have a very small open cut which very good for his diabetes.
The surgery took place yesterday, my father is in a good condition now, he spent the night in the hospital with my mother, uncle and other relatives and friends.
He called me early in the morning to wake me up, we used to wake up at the same time and have breakfast together, I missed having breakfast with him, I missed to see him walking or even coming to pick me up from work. Thanks God he is good now, he needs to spend two nights at the hospital for more checking.
So that's why I couldn't post any pics :)

It is almost finished!

From where do I have to start? ok I will start from about week ago, I know I was very late to informe you about the great news that I have, but believe me if you were in my place, you would have no time to sit on the computer, despite that I work for eight hours per day in front of it, and I could't speak or even to think in a right way.
I'm happy to say that I found a house, I'm so happy, so as my future husband, we are very busy these days, we start to furnish the house and every thing is just amazing. It is a very cute house with a kitchen, two rooms, bathroom, balcony and good corridor. I liked the house, but it was in a bad condition, that's why we needed about a week just to fix the walls and to clean it. We painted the walls with different colors, it looks like a new house now. I went yesterday with my parents and sister to do the cleaning thing, my Lion King was busy since early in the morning in buying the furnitures, washing machine, refrigerator, cooking stove, television, generator, and today a huge sand storm hit us, what? you just can't imgine how bad it ist, I'm watching Baghdad from the fifth floor now, it is completely Café au lait.
We have to clean the house again oh my God.
The count down started, only few days for the big day of my life, I have to buy all the things I need, the wedding dress, the white shoes, oh my God I have a long list to do all the requirments. I don't know when I will take the vacation, and I would be so happy to share some photos with you as soon as possible.
With all those things, I still have the last date with the dentist today, then I have to find a day for make over, I will change my hair color, and prepare my self for every thing.
I have mixed feeling, I can't describe the way I feel, I feel hungry all the time, and I know it is not the right to feel this way as I'm not planning to gain any weight.
I think that's it for the moment, it was a hard day day at work, I can't concentrate anymore, but I promise you that I will be back soon with photos.
take care

unforgettable days

I remember after the war, people returned to their homes, my friends as well, we met in S's house, each one of us had a story to speak about. It was a hard time, there were no electricity at all, and sometimes no water, so we were storing water to use it in the dry day.

The shopes and markets start to reopen, but with a small number of goods, we thanked Allah for there are farms in the neighborhood, the farmers were selling the vegetable they have.

We were seeing light only during the day, and we were spending our night in a complete darkness, the lande line stopped, there were still no internet and cell phones yet. We were using only the radio to know the news, we were listening to Sawa radio and informations, the station of the alliance forces, They were speaking Arabic in a really funny way remindes me of the Arabic translation of the Russian cartoons. They were giving instructions to Iraqis to cooperate with the "Friendly" US troops and they are here to help us and to free us from the previous regime! like it was really true.

I remember I was busy to do something at home when my uncle came to us saying the US troops are at al-Ferdous squre trying to collapse Saddam's statue, I didn't heared what he was saying exactly, but I was happy as I felt that there will be no more bombings.

I was only afraid of being seriously injured because of a bomb by the US troops, and I live for the rest of my life paralyzed or suffering the lose of my family, I prayed to God all the time, I don't want to suffer, if this is my time to die, let me die, better for me to live and lose my family. I couldn't believe the US collapses Saddam's statue, no one believed it, it was like a shock. Then another stage started, which is the theft, Iraqis, and unknown groups, some say from Kuwait, other said Iranian, start to enter Saddam's palaces and take every thing they can, they opened the huge doors of the palace, Oday's palace as well and let all the animals escape but I don't know what happened to Oday's lion.

The thieves destroyed all the governmental associations, destroyed the streets, the Fine Art center and steal almost all the rare paintings painted by famous Iraqi artists, they steal the National museum, they destroyed the heritages, they were like hungry animals.

Later, they stopped as there is nothing left to be destroyed. Iraqi are patient, after all this distructions, they continue their life, the stores reopened, the schools as well, we were preparing for our final exams, few months later, we had our exams and prepared our selves for the college life.

The bombing started, the killing for money, they were kidnapping girls, children and men, one day I was going on my way to college with the driver, he speaks alot and has all the news of the neighborhood and the areas around it, he told me about the story of the bakery owner in the near neighborhood saying that "He is a rich man, a very good man, they kidnapped his son of about 12 years old, they asked the family to pay a ransom of about 70 thousand dollars, they tried to reduce the number and prepared 50 thousand dollars to pay, the father went to one of the srteets in Baghdad to hand over the money and take his son, as he had been told by the kidnappers, they called him and asked him to put the money on the corner of the street and will receive his son from the other side of the same street. he did what they asked him to do, put the money and went to the other side but in vain, he waited and tryed to call the kidnappers but their cell phone was switched off, he waited there, but he received a phone call from his brother saying they found a black bag on the door contains the chopped body of his son!!!!.

When my grandparent back to their house, they had many stories to tell us when they came to visit. My grand mother was very sad about a girl in their neigborhood, she told me she was a very beautiful younglady, with a long black hair, big eyes, good shpaed body, she is a very good girl from a respected family, when she walk in the street, all the men look at her and wish to speak with her, they were waiting in the street just to see her beauty. But during the bombings that targeted the civilian houses by the US troops, mortar bombs fall down on their house, it was destroyed and burned, the girl was seriously injured and lost members of her family as well, she lost her lef eye, part of her nose and she became paralyzed, she was not able to walk or move normaly, this all the information I have about her, as my grandparents moved from their neighborhood for the security reasons, my grandmother has no news about the girl and the family.
My friend N. (The one I talked about in one of my previous post that lives now in the US), she got married when she was in the second year of college, her sunni husband were subjected to threat while he was visiting his shia father in low's house in Karada, then he decided to go to Lebanon to save his life untill N. finish her study and follow him, but N. suffered a lot during nthe two years she spend away from her husband, her brother in low and his grandfather got killed in clashes between US troops and armed group while they were going to their house in Ameriyah, then she lost 11 member of her familly in a bomb targeted the building where they live, the bomb collapsed all the building. many people killed because of the attack, her sister killed by a bomb in Karada, then she finally went to her husband and both of then moved the US.
and I still remember that day, I was on the highway going to college, when the cars suddenly stopped, we heard fire, I saw children running out of their school buses, as their school was on the side of the highway, they were scared and crying, then I saw a woman crying and shouting and another car just moved rapidly. I was still inside the car praying no one to be injured or killed, the cars then moved and I saw the woman still crying out side a balck car, but the driver was drowned in his blood, they killed him, my be he was her husband or brother or son, I could't see if he was a young or old man. I hated that day of college, I can't forget that day ever.

Bad memories about war

I realy don't like to call it the War of Freedom like other call it, it was a war against Iraqis, against Saddam and now we are paying the price of The American government's big mistake.
I remember the first days of the war, it was about 05:00 to 06:00 am, 20 March 2003, we were sleeping in peace but there was fear inside our heart to here the sounds of bombs any time, as they announced the Zero Hour, which means the time to start the war.
We heard the sounds, we went down stairs and listened carefully, we hugged each other and prayed to God to protect everyone. I was scared to death, my heart was beating very fast, then my father's friend called and they must go to their duty, I didn't want my father to leave, but this is his job and his duty towards the country, he went and we didn't heard any thing about him for several days.
I remember my aunt (Allah yrhamha) the sister of my father, which lives in the south of Iraq, was calling us everyday to check upon us. My grandparents was asking us to go their house untill the situation to be calm, my aunt (the sister of my mother) was asking us the same thing and they were living in Aadhamiyah at that time. during the Gulf War in 1991, all my aunt's (My Mother's sisters, their husbands and kids, we were kids at that time) went all there, we spend the hard days of war togther, but in the war of 2003, my mother refused to leave the house, she said "I will not leave it for I'm waiting for my husband to come in any time, we should wait for him in his house". We refused. Thanks be to Allah that we didn't leave our house, because all of them came to us, and we spent the war days together in our home, because the situation in their neighborhoods was getting worse.
we were about 11 members, my father was still in his duty and my grandfather was in his house, he didn't leave his house to protect it and all the men in their area were there, but he was trying to come to our house, he couldn't because the streets were closed, all the Iraqi tanks were damaged, he was walking all the streets just trying to reach us, all the streets were filled with chopped and burned bodies, he was alone for along time, we couldn't call him, he spent the days alone in the dark nights hearing the bombings every little hour, untill the roads re-opened, he came but he was in a bad situation, he lost weight, and he was depressed for seeing the bloody scenes in the streets, this caused him the Zehimar and died three years later.
After several days, and when the military operation by the US troops decreased, my father came back, Then we heard that the US troops entered Baghdad.
When US troops occupied Baghdad, there were no electricity, no water from time to time, no food, we were making bread at home, I was dreaming to eat a banana or at least a small dish of fresh salad.
We lived in bad situation, we start to hear the Iraqis are being killed for money, cars, revenge, as well as sectarian reasons. The killing is continuing till now. Iraqis were displaced for being Sunni, Shiite, Christian or Kurds, men were killed for doing their hear in a stylish way, women were killed for speaking on the mobile in the street, as it is Haram, (Forbidden) by the Islamists.
During college, my christian friend was living in al-Dora, one of al-Qaeda srtongholds, she was forced to wear Hijab.
She tells me someday, a man came to her house, spoke with her mother "You should make your two girsl wear Hijab, or you will be forced to pay 50 dollar every day for us, and we'll take your girls and marry them!".
They wore Hijab, then they moved to another house in another area later. Me too, I was putting scarf all the way from home to college, for security reasons.
I remeber one day during Ramadan in 2003, which several month after the war, we were invited to have the Iftar in my aunt's house in Adhamiya, then we went back home, on the way, we found a US tank in front of us, the soldier on the top of it was directing the mashine gun of the tank to us, it was a deadly moments, you can't imagine what happened to us, we were scared to death, we prayed that we would not feel pain if we die but later he just waved his hand to us telling move!.
I have more to tell, I heard many things worth to be shared here, but I don't want my post to be very long. Maybe I will speak about it later, maybe not. All I can say that be safe and live in peace.

The same old issue

We were searching for a house more than six month ago, and we are still waiting to find even a small but clean one. I mean by WE, my family, my family in law, my father and his friends, my mother and some neighboors, my finace and all his friends, my friends and their families, and there is nothing to live in.
We found several houses, very samll and expensive, very big and very very expensive, but the last one we found, is the disaster it self.
My friend N. called me two days ago, she was so happy telling me that her father's friend found a hous for rent in the same neighborhood where I live now, a house in the second floor of a nother house, but it will be separated by a stairs, which will be added later, and we will share the same garage!
we spok with the friend of N.'s father, and we met him yesterday, my father, my fiance and me, I was happy, I dreamed all the previous night about the house, I was telling my self that this is it, we found what we need, a house of two rooms, one bathroom and a kitchen. And you can't imagin how deep was my dreams, especially it was not expensive they asked for about 300 dollars per month.
We went yesterday to check the house, I found a small corridor and three doors, one for the bathroom, and the two others are for two rooms, then another door for the roof, I wandered where is the toilet and kitchen? then I was shocked, the kitchen is outside the house, it is in the roof, you can't imagine it, I felt I was living in a egyptian old movie where a poor family living on the roof.
I was sad and very disappointed, but I tried so hard to hid my feelings, because my fiance always tells me that not to build dreams on a fragile thing, or on something you have no idea about. He was right. But I can tell you that all my dreams faded away with that kitchen!.
There is a houses crisis in the country, the problem is, despite the improved security situation, but we still can't live anywhere, there are some areas far away from our parent's houses, and from work, we can't live in some areas that we are not used to, as some neighborhoods seem familiar but other areas seem so strange.
my grandmother always asks me the same old question, you found a house? what will you do?.. no body knows how much this question bothers me! yes it bothers me deadly.
I can do nothing, or WE can't do anything, yes we want to get married, but in the same time we want to do it the way we want, the time we want, we will wait untill we find a nice place for us.. this is my business, it is not others business..

just another day

Ok, finaly I found something to talk about!
I wake up at 06:00 am, had my breakfast and got ready for going to work, my Lionking came to pick me up later, but we discovered that the streets are empty, very samll number of cars, and this is realy strange especially we still in the middle of the week! what's going on, he said maybe we went out earlier than every day. but when we reached the main street that leads to my work, O-Oh, it was blocked, we tried to go from another way, it was blocked as well.
the problem is that I don't care if I arrive at 07:00 0r 09:00 but what I care for is that my Lionking should reach his work before 08:00 am .
We trid but in vain. We both live in two different neighborhoods in Rasafa side, our works are in al-Karkh, it is like going to Basra or Mosul not the other side of Baghdad. So we returned back to the first point, which is Rasafa, then we passed through Adhamiyah and reached his work.
We decided to go to his work is better than returning back home because it is closer to my work and it will not take to much time to go.
we face this kind of closing road almost one day per week, we need one hour or sometimes more to go to work, this is ridiculous, can you imagin we are losing two three hours of our day everyday just to go and return from work, aaah, I think we need a small helicopter is better than a car that got stuck in the traffic every ten minits.
going with my fiance to his work is a nice thing, it is like sharing every little thing with your partner, I met his golleagues, the majority were girls, hummmm! but they were nice and the type of girls who talk a lot and like to gossip!
but I had fun, I find his personality in the office and with other people, I saw him working and taking his place in that corner where takes control of every thing, we talked, laughed had hot nescafee made by one of the girls their, I liked to be their. but everthing has an end, I had to call the office and tell them about the closed roads, but they said the roads are opened now and everything is ok.
So, I said goodbye to the girls hopping to meet them again, and my Lionking drove me back to the office.
the reason of closing the roads is the visit of the Iranian former president Rafsenjani, (is that even a name?) to Baghdad, I do not know why he is visiting Iraq now, and why the government is happy with this visit, and why they close the roads for him? ok I know I don't like to speak about politics so I will stop.
From another part, I was thinking about asking you a question. I read in one of the newspapers several weeks ago, a cute article about TV channels and people, the main idea of the article is "what would you do if all the satellite and local channels will stop for one month, and there will be no TV at all? and why?", can you answer my question? as I want to write a report about that for my own, thank you in advance.

Happy Valentine's day

If I had to live my life with you near me

the days would all be empty

the nights would seem so long

with you I see forever oh, so clearly

I might have been in love before

but it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young and we both no

they'll take us where we want to go

hold me now, touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

you oughta know by now how much I love you

one thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

nothing's gonna change my love for you

you ought to know by now how much I love you

the world may change my whole life through but nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road a head is not so easy

our love will lead the way for us, like a guiding star

I'll be there for you if you should need me

you don't have to change a thing

I love just the way you are

so come with me and share the view

I'll help you see forever too

old me now, touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Some times we feel that a love song and the way it makes you feel, is a better way to express your self and the love you have for a special person in your life, not because you do not know how to show your feeling, or because you have no words to say, but because there is no way to describe how realy you love, how much you care, and long to live the most beautiful love story in all the world.

I found that song, the best one to show him my love, to tell him that I love every day, every moment and every memory that we shared. I wanted a friend and I found him, I wanted to be loved and he gave me the most wonderful feeling, I wanted to dream, I wanted to laugh. He gave me all his time, he gave me his heart, he said that wounderful words many time, he promised me to be by my side for ever, for better or worse, till death do us apart.

I promise you I will care for you, I will love you, I will keep you in my heart for ever, I will cherish every little thing we do. We will laugh, we will cry, we will lean on each others shoulders, we will grow old together, we will made our dreams come true, we will fight for our happiness, we will create the best time ever for us.

I learnt from you that the happiness does not come to us, but we create it. I learnt from you that love is a great, very great and deep friendship between two souls. For you my love, I dedicate this song, these words and feelings.

Happy valentines' day

a fresh air

Oh what a nice feeling, I was standing outside the office, to breath some fresh air and meet the sun, it is a little bit windy out side, but very nice weather.
I don't know why I didn't write about the elections day, I didn't vote, maybe because I know that my voice will not change the result of the elections, or I just don't care about it, but I was happy that nothing bad happened during the electoral process.
I'm having pain in my tooth, or it is all because my wisdom teeth, it starts to appear and realy affecting my right ear, my lower jaw, even the right side of my neck, I just hate it, it is affecting all my face, even my eyes :), no this is very exaggerated.
Yesterday was the birthday of Eve, one of my best friends, I called her yesterday, and I called other friends, Eve was celebrating her birthday party with her family, I heared her arguming with her mother about how many candles she must put on the cake, her mother wanted to put 25 and she said no I'm 23, she is one year older than me...We don't want to grow.
Another friend callded two days ago, the one who was in her last days of pregnancy, she called me from the US, she gave birth to her baby, I was happy to hear her voice again. Another one called me she got married, and now she's pregnant, but the doctors just discovered that she has weakness in one of her kidneys, and she must remove it after the pregnancy, I'm thinking of her all the time, she is still young, may God help her.

I'm not a singer, but I sang

It was like a movie passing infront of my eyes, it took me to that chair where I was sitting facing my two professors, monsieur Jaafar and miss Lubna, during the oral exams of the second year of college!

I was really forgeting this day, but my dad reminded me of it. My father was driving me to the office and we were listinning to some french, western, Iraqi songs, then Dalida's song "je suis malade" just started. My father asked me "is it the same song that you sang infront of your professors during your oral exam? ". I was like what song and what oral exams you are talking about dady?. He said "Don't tell me you don't remember that day!".

In fact, I was realy forgeting that day, it was winter, I was waiting in the corridor of the French language departement with all my friends and colleague, untill the professors ask as one by one to enter the class, where the oral exam of comprehension was taking place.

I waited until my turn came, I was not afraid, I sat on the chair with big smile and blinked eyes, the miss Luban asked me to read a small story was in the book, and asked me several questions about it. Then Monsieur Jaafar, and because he knows me very well and know how I liked the frech songs, he asked me about my plans during the mid year holiday, I told him I have plans to meet my friends, to read and translate some Frecn songs, then he asked me what kind of songs and for whom? give me names and titles!! I was like, wow, this is my chance to speak more and more French with my nice professor, which I realy realy respect. Then I gave him several names of French singers and songs, one of them was Dalida's song.

Then he said I want you to sing it for me, it is included in the exam!, ok I knew that he was kidding about that, but I was realy shy to sing, even my voice is not that suitable to sing with it. But I said "What will I lose If I sing? I will do it", then I started..

Je ne rêve plus

Je ne fume plus

Je n'ai même plus d'histoire

Je suis seul sans toi

Je suis laid sans toi

Je suis comme un orphelin

dans un dortoir

Je n'ai plus envie

De vivre ma vie

Ma vie cesse quand tu pars

Je n'ai plus de vie

Et même mon lit

Se transforme en quai de gare quand tu t'en vas

Je suis malade

Complètement malade

Comme quand ma mère sortait le soir

Et qu'elle me laissait seul avec mon désespoir

Je suis malade

Parfaitement malade

T'arrives on ne sait jamais quand

Tu repars on ne sait jamais où

Et ça va faire bientôt deux ans

Que tu t'en fous

It was like WOW, what I have done, OMG, I was realy excited. how come I forgot that day? I wish I live one more time, over and over again, there are many happy days I lived with my friends at college, I miss them alot.

we were five girls, one of us went to Syria before finishing college, two of us married and living abroad, one of them realy far away and she mightbe a mother now, as she was in her last days of her nine months pregnancy, and another one got a job in Baghdad, and me...

nice memories from the best days of my life..

It is the year of changes

Is it only me or the mojrity of the girls acting like that? no no I can confirm that this is not a good thing, especially for a young girl like me who will get married within this year and will be incharge of a house, I can't decid what is good for me, I can't decid what is fits on me or I just can't say yes yes I want that and I take it as soon as my eyes fall on it.
Is it really that hard to choose the outfits that I should choose without having my mother with me or asking about her opinion?
I adore my mother, and I trust her and trust in her opinion about every little thing, she is not only a mother for me she's my ideal, my star and I want to be just like her in everything, she's strong, self confident, pretty and very elegant !! and this is what I'm talking about.
Since my childhood I depended on my mother in buying clothes, or everything actually, even my make up, and she buys me anything even without my presence. when my friends ask me about what I'm wearing, or from where I bought my makeup I said "Mama brought it to me, I don't know from where exactly", this is a bad sign!
So, I decided, and because I promised that 2009 will be the year of changes I start my way taking the first steps which are dying my hair in to aubergine color, and actully this was my decision with taking my fiance's opinion and the other step is to buy new clothes, I must do it.
Maybe for others, or you my readers it is not a big deal, but I thing it is important for me to decide, it will change me, I will start to realy realy depend on my self in every thing.

I spent three hours in writing this post, I hated everyone in the office today, they asked me alot and they were taking my attention all the time.. now I have only 20 minutes to leave...I'm also waiting your comments..
untill then, be safe, enjoy what you're doing, smille, take a rest and be ready for the next coming day.

2008 goes 2009 comes

Here we are again kissing a nother year of our life goodbye and welcoming a new year, the year of 2009. Many things happend during 2008, in all the world, I wish that the next year will be more peacful, and our country will be more secured.
I do not know why I havn't write lately in the blog, maybe I was busy all the time, and I start to use the internet only during the work hours, but I forget about the internet at home. I prefere to spend my time with the family.
I think 2008 was a year of achievements for me, I learnt many things during my work, I learnt that life and experiences make us more strong and more confident. I learnt that without friends life don't cost a thing.
In the year of 2009 I promise my self to keep praying as I did in 2008
To love and respect and to be more kind with all people I love and I trust, my family and fiance.
I know that there are things that I faced during my work made me nervous, but from the first day of 2009 I will never let anything to make me nervous or angry, this is not me, I will not be angry and I will give my self ony five minits to be nervous.
I will calls and ask about friends like I used to do before.
I will not let anything to take me from anything I want to do.
I have plans for the next year, all my life will be changed.
life goes by, and we are growng up, we most create the happiness for our self and love everything we do. Time is running and will never go back...
live your life
be happy
find love
find friends
and just be what you are
and thank God for everything you have....
Happy new year everyone... hoping that 2009 we will find peace in our country..

Happy Birthday to me

Eid is gone, my three days off too, and I back to work again with a new fresh spirit, I decided to have a new fresh way of thinking, as I know my self, I'm moody, impatient, nervous and I get upset easily, but with this new step, I'm feeling much better, even my health is getting better as it was affecting my digestive system, which bring me headache and indigestion! this took about two years of my life. Having indigestion is a big problem, it turns my face pale, with dark spots under my eveys from time to time and sickness.
Today is my Birthday! I received many sms's, E-cards and phone calls, I'm happy with all my friends who remembered my Birthday. Most of my friends and relatives born on October, me, my fiance, three of my friends, my aunt and her daughter, my ancle, my cousin, and my three cousins from the part of my father. So can you imagine it!
My finace's familly will visit us today to celebrate my Birthday party, how kind it will be, they are so nice.
my mother and sister are going to Syria tomorrow, I want to go with them, but I can't as I'm keeping my breaks for my marriage, I'm planning to take a month!
that's all for now, I will post the pics of the cake tomorrow, so wait for me.

It is early, but Happy Eid everyone

Three days left for her returning, I'm waiting her since more than two years, I don't know if should I be happy because she have done what she dreamed of and back with a big smile and good achievements, or should I be afraid that she comes back to this bad situation? but all what is important is her, her feeling, if she's happy, I'm happy, but if she's not I won't too.

It is true that the situation here is better than before, but life is still not like what we all want it to be, the big problem in the current time is the security and electricity, but life continues, and we should get used to it.

I'm thinking about my french language that I learnt in college, I feel now I shoule back to my old books to bring it to my mind again, and I should back again to my french songs collection, and add them to my new flash player that I have receieved as gift from my fiance.

French language is the language of love, it is a nice thing to speak in several languages.
Nothing happened since the last time I posted here, I'm going to work, fasting, watching TV and do some other social activities with my fiance.
I'm planning to back to my coloring stuff, papers, brushs and draw again! yes I will back again to draw..
Finaly I will have three days off in the next week, celebrating my sisters back home with all the familiy, and it will be the first and second days of Eid, Oh yeah, I know I will enjoy these days and I will live the spirit of Eid again.

untill then, take care all of you my dear readers, and i wish happy Eid for all the world with all the diffirent religions.

bye for now

Ramadan Karim

Ramadan Karim to everyone, inshallah your fasting and prayer will be accepted from God in this holy month, hoping the situation in Iraq will get better soon, and all the electricity, water, securiy and other thing.
Ramadan started several days ago, we are in the begining of September and the weather still hot, which makes Ramadan doesn't looks like to what we used to.
Fasting is not easy in this very hot summer, thanx God my place work is airconditioned, I don't feel the heat since morning till 04:00 pm. But when I go back home, no, forget it, it is hot despite that we have aircondition unties in each room, but the national electricity comes maybe 4 hours per day.
We had a car accident, my finace and me, on Wedensday while he was driving me to work, a car from the Kurdish guards of the Housing Minister, was driving so fast in a very narrow street, we couldn't manage to go back, or even to change the direction, because of the T walls, or the concret barriers, they also didn't stop, or even change their direction, they hit us, thanx Gad Lionking is alright, me too despite I got a hit on my head with the side window of the car, but I'm ok.
but the white, cute and lovly car is not that ok, the left side of the car dented, and the support or the front fell down.
that is what we got from those bad Kurish guards, and all the guards, escorts and US forces cars in the streets, they drive so fast, they don't care if they run over cars and people in the streets, and this happened many times.

thanx God for every thing

Hello

I know, it has been a long time since I last posted here, maybe I was busy, or maybe I was not able to express my self, or you can say I have nothing to talk about, nothing new, the weather is really very very hot, and the humidity is so strong, I just want this month to end because the weather will be better on September.
So we are waiting for Ramadhan, it will be in the beginning of the next month inshallah.
I really don't have something to talk about, but in the current time I want to go on a trip, maybe to the north of Iraq, I don't know if I will go or not, I neeeeed to goooo out.
I know it is not the right time to go, I maybe can't take a break from work, and my sister is coming in about two months, then I will be busy with my fiance to find a house and furnish it, and I'm sure this will take a time, because we are both will not buy anything we see, we will take time untill we find the stuff we like :)
I just can't wait to see my sister, I'm missing her soooo much.
Ok, bye for now, I should go I have somthing to do, I'm still at work :)

Hello again

Hello every one..I know the previous post was sad, but this is life, we see many things every day. It was just a phase, and it is gone. I know I didn't have these kinds of feelings since several years ago, I was happy all the time, I didn't feel upset, but now I'm being very sesitive even to the silly things. While I was optimistic, and look at the bright side of the world, because I knew every thing will be changed, nothing still the same forever.
Let's forget about it, I'm in a good mood these days, or I can say my mood is better than the previous one. There is nothing new these days, all are the same, I'm planning to learn how to cook!!, yes I'm planning to do it, but it doesn't mean that I don't know how to cook, I know how to make (White rice, Tomato Rice, Bryani, which is another kind of rice with pieces of potatos, meat or chiken pices, mushrooms, and so many things, I can make Macaroni, Lazanie, chinese food, Faheetee, Pizza, Chiken soups, meat soups) but there are another dishes I want to learn, and every time I will do something, I'll post a photo of it.
this is the first thing I want to do these days. But I want to do other things, I don't know yet, but I'll plan for it later.
I watched a cartoon movie a week ago, it is "The Corpse Bride", what I loved the most is the 3D drawning of this movie. I will leave you with the photos
Look at the corpse bride's eyes..she's beautiful. Bye for now.

Really really Bad Mood

I'm feeling bored, I feel that I'm not doing anything, I'm not having a time to do a thing for my self, I'm really missing to be at home for a long time with my familly while I'm seeing them every day, but at the same time I feel I miss them a lot, I don't have the time to sit down and talk with my mother like before, I'm not doing what I used to do before, I used to be a lone for hours writing my diarys, listen to music, watch TV till late hours of night, get to the interenet and chat with my sister and friends for hours, and U'm realy missing my sister, painting, cleaning the house, arranging my room, help my mother in cooking, meet my friends every week or call them from time to time, even talking to my fiance for late hours..
I'm not finding the time to be as I used to be, I feel like there is something has changed in me, and this is really hurts me so bad, I'm not sure if my familly realy feels like there is something changed in me, but I do feel it.
I'm not taking care of my self, I'm not eating well, I'm not sleeping in a good way, sometimes I sleep well and for more than 8 hours a day, and sometimes less than 8 hours.
I'm not able to arrange my time because I already don't have any!
the weather is hot, it is realy hot. The work time is realy long long time, which is really something bothering me!!! desperately!!...
I know that many people want to be in my place, because I found a job while most of my friends and people I know are still searching, but the problem is I'm bored of everything.
I don't want to live in gloominess, I know I should be happy and satisfied no matter what, because I have the reasonable causes for that but I'm not helping my self, even my father when he sees me smiling and talking about what happened at work and how was my day he says "I really want to see you like this everyday you come from work".
I know I should be happy because I have a lot of good events happened in my life, I graduated, I got engaged to the man I love, I found a good work, My familly and fiance are ok, my sister is happy with her achievements, so what else I need? what else I don't have? what do I want? I don't want to be like this, I don't want to be ungrateful to everything that God gave me..
maybe it is just a phaze that I'm going throuhg, I know I can get all these thoughs out of my mind, sooner or later..